quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
