I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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