If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
