Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
