You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
