You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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