Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
