Quick, to the slutcave!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
