I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
