Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
