she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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