Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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