its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Lo siento on account of my penis...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
