And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
