dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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