people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
