with your own penis?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
