hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
