lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
