its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
