Buhtt sex?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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