After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
