Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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