and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
