Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize