just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
