help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
