Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
its not stalking. its research.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
