Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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