I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
