is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
time to smoke my breakfast
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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