Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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