Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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