i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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