I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
