plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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