I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
worst night to have a conscience
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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