who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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