stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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