who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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