I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
