fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
