Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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