I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
