Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
