let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize