She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
