I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Text me some of your sweat
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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