Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
