I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
